*say it louder for the people in the back*
Lately, a recurring theme among my friends and me has been doubting our abilities. Like, why?
I’m surrounded by ridiculously impressive people—smart, ambitious, and making waves in every field you can think of. We’re talking engineers, future doctors, law girlies, and even future ambassadors and CEOs. I have no doubt they will accomplish their dreams, and I couldn’t be prouder of them. But even powerhouse women somehow find themselves thinking, am I good enough?
Just last night, I went out for drinks with some of these amazing friends, and my best-friend from high-school. The story of how I met the two other girls is straight out of a Netflix rom-com. I was at a café with a classmate, deep in conversation about life post-grad—jobs in biotech vs. pursuing medicine, stress at an all-time high, and the girls at the next table overheard us, interrupts with, “Sorry, but you guys are too cute, and I accidentally eavesdropped. Can we be friends?” And now, here we are.
Anyway, back to last night. One of the girlies who is in law school, shared a story that really shows how crazy life can be. A few years ago, she applied to a top-tier law firm in Toronto. They were stupid to reject her, and did not see the sheer genius she is. But fast forward, she was at a restaurant, spotted some guys that gave off law-vibes (not a good thing for them LOL), and decided to strike up a conversation. They loved her energy (she’s one of the funniest people I have ever met) so much that she eventually was offered a position, and it turns out to be a partner at that same firm. How crazy is that?
Of course, while we’re all hyping her up, the conversation turns to imposter syndrome. Despite amazing moments and achievements, we talk about that delightful voice in your head that’s like, “Congrats on fooling everyone into thinking you’re competent!” Even I catch myself in these moments sometimes, more than I would like.
rejections are just plot twists.
I can say the same for me and my friends who are applying to grad programs. It’s tough out here. Weekly phone calls to deal with uncertainty with acceptance into their Master’s or PhD’s, or dental, pharmacy, med and law school (or for my friends already in law and med, residency or articling jobs) are a must. We end our calls with, “well, whatever is meant to be will be“, which is both refreshing and terrifying.
With myself, I had doubts recently a position I received in health policy with a team whose work I think is impeccable. I found myself worrying about my experience in policy analysis, and called up my best friend. She told me, “Let’s be so real right now: would you actually decline a position you’re excited about just because you’re scared? If anything, you learn things on the job”. Sometimes success comes down to putting yourself out there.
There are so many examples of friends calling me, me calling them, lots of tissues being used up, but by the end, we remind each other our capabilities.
Last week in my Master’s program, we had a talk from a brilliant professor; she’s a researcher assessing genes implicated in breast cancer in Black women (the first of its kind in all of Canada). She shared advice to the class on how to achieve your career goals as a woman in male-dominated fields, which is to surround yourself with positive people that make you feel safe but also push you to grow.
This advice hit home. It’s a reminder that the people we keep around us—our girlfriends, guy-friends, partners, and mentors—play such a huge role in how we see ourselves. They’re the ones who’ll remind you of your greatness when you’re busy doubting it.
altamodagirl 
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